Dear Heart

Dear heart

Two of the saddest things you’ve had to experience is losing loved ones and watching the one you love love someone else. Though shattered, you’ve been able to heal past the pain. I know it doesn’t happen over night, you’re a work in progress. Though bitter sweet, the things you’ve endured will always live on as memories. You are stronger than I give you credit for and though I don’t acknowledge it often as I should, I realize that each day you give me hope that you’ll be able to love again and for that I owe you big time. ❤

Love letters to the heart: A series of short posts that I decided to write to myself. It has nothing to do with current world events, politics, entertainment news, sports, health etc… (topics that, when I first started to blog, I thought would be what I should write about) However, I soon realized that I shouldn’t choose topics based on how “smart” or “serious” it would make me sound. Instead, it should be authentic, and if it could help heal one person then its worth it.

My writing is my healing.

You can journey with me. Write when you feel down, broken, tired, weary, or overly obsessed over a new love. Trust me, your heart will be glad to receive a love letter every now and then, who wouldn’t?

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Let yourself feel… Then let yourself heal — Shami


  2. Chad says:

    Each time I read your comments about love and Kay-Marie, I didn’t want to say anything but I don’t believe it…in your previous blog “I discovered myself in my writing”, I saw something about you wrote about “sex” based on conversations with girlfriends etc? (I hope that part is true), but any way….each time you do things like that… I smile…not any kind of on the surface smile…a deep deep smile from within… I think in those moments, I smile with my heart.

    Its as if in that same moment, my heart is talking directly with your hear and the conversation is sooooo interesting to my heart, that there is a perpetual smile that eminates on my flippin face.

    You are Kay-Marie….a very very beautiful person. Keep that way my good lady, forget the next side of the fence please…it is not as grand as you think….

    and here comes the supporting argument (Chad clearing throat)…..


  3. Chad says:

    Supporting argument:

    As you know…. I started college at the extremely immature age of 10….and as you know also, people follow me naturally (a gift that I have changed to utilize for good rather than bad)….and as you know again…. I went to an all boys school most popular with the convent and naparima girls, as we were the only school to have ever won intercol championships for 5 consecutive years….

    to give you a brief description of what you were looking at during those days –

    a) I was extremely tall for my age, at that time 13 yrs old – so put tall on the list – 3rd tallest guy in my class.
    b) I was the starting under fourteen striker for the two top football clubs in the country at that time – my school and Petrotrin – I was fit as a fiddle, zero fat, V shaped body, broad shoulders, flat stomach, multiple abbs, well cut legs, solid but and chiseled arms. Picture a 13yr old Ronaldo.
    c) To keep fit, I was eating very well – so add smoothe face and skin – unblemished even though I was playing ball. I was nippy as hell just to avoid any injuries…
    d) Brown in complexion with brown eyes
    e) Low cut, always clean (Lilly white Tshirt, 501 Levis, Clarks or logs or Nike or addidas, gold flats around the neck, gold watch around the wrist and smelling of Issey Miyake original from a mile)
    f) In summary – I was the perfect specimen of the male species.

    So….now that I have introduced myself, we can move on….back to college with the supporting argument where I will show you personal dilemma at its best –

    During my tenure at that great school… I formed a huge gang of boys in my class and other classes…
    This was the life changing turning point that allowed me the benefit of running the entire school (keep in mind that I have acquired entrepreneurial skills since 8 yrs. old)… I had the brilliant idea of exploring the profits of love. I formed a core group of guys in my gang that were the lookers and had them attend a special and secret meeting that I was chairman… Ian Cambridge, Dane Ramcharan, Dwane Ramsiran, Timothy Seulal and Brent Romain….

    At that meeting – I posed a challenge – it was simple (but I did it for a reason)

    Challenge – Who can sleep with the most amount of girls by telling them you “love” them with all your heart. But the girl must confirm with me.

    Can you imagine what happened here? I cant even bring myself to tell you these secrets, but picture this, the guy/s that all the girls are hearing about and will do anything to hang out with, are now coming to them with the words….”I Love You”….

    a little joke…it got sooooo competitive that at one time Dane bought a ring to get an edge on the competition and improve his numbers….he said he found a bigger trick…tell the girls that you want to marry them as well and even older women will crumble at your feet…He slept with 13 girls in the same week he bought the ring and had a foursome at one time – by Saturday we each had rings of our own….lol!!

    but anyhow…because I have to omit soooo much information I will jump to the ending so you will see the supporting argument…


  4. Chad says:

    I support you with this posting Kay-Marie….but recognize the true true benefit of experience through my eyes now.

    before I wrap up my supporting argument….let me jump to the ending of my Challenge that used “Love”….. in a very mischievous manner….. this is how it ended….

    Ian Cambridge – married a girl at a tender age and had a daughter. The girl he married, was extremely wealthy, of high catholic standing, pristine background and no one could have explained how beautiful this girl truly was…she was nicknamed the “Dolly” of Naparima girls high school (one of the most prestigious high schools in the country)… and truly one of the most beautiful girls I have personally ever seen…Zero flaws..and I mean Z..RO, not a single thing wrong… year into his marriage which was a big big thing with the boys…now adults…but still immature boys…he committed suicide by hanging. I know why he did it….and unfortunately his sister found his body.

    Dane Ramcharan – l wont comment about him as he is still alive and lives in Trinidad and we still link up every so often. But you will be able to tell if you know him…how his story unfolded.

    Dwane Ramsiran – moved abroad with parents after his cousin shot at him with his father’s licensed gun, for sleeping with his girlfriend….I heard he was thrown off a building in the US by some thugs. People today blamed it on his cousin as they were all very well off and could afford a hit like that. He was never married or had any kids.

    Timothy Seulal – Lost contact, went into depression after getting 2 girls pregnant at the same time. Last I heard he had something like 5 girls by the time he was 25. Some of the women put him in court and he had to work odds and ends to support his vastly growing family. Up to his neck in debts, not able to secure a stable job because he had to cut short his education to pursue the career of womanizing…he could not pay debts, was beaten by the loan sharks and had to flee with his mother to another country….no one knows where he went. Not even me…possibly never to see him again in life. To put simply….he just went missing one day.

    Brent Romain – I wont comment about him as he is still alive and living in Trinidad and we still are close. But again, the punishment did not escape him either.

    Chad – Lost the meaning of the word true Love….all he knew because he was soooo accustomed to utilizing it, was false/pretend Love….up until 17-19yrs of age, where he got a taste of his own medicine… he proposed to the love of his life and was rejected on his engagement ceremony night….then lost his mother, one of his grandmothers, his BMW, all of his savings (a significant sum) and is now building back his life….because he took the chance to truly love again….but the girl he loves currently…hates the ground he walks on…funny eh…lol!! Love is soooo flippin funny.

    anyhow….Moral of the story…


  5. Chad says:

    Moral of the story…

    The greatest feeling in the world is love…..full stop….not sex, not lust, but love…..Love is soooo powerful that some people care little if the other person loves them back….what do I mean by that… I mean what would you value the most? to be on the giving end…or the receiving end….ask yourself which is more important to you….let me explain using your scenario and you will get the point….then I will wrap up with my scenarios….and show you how powerful “Love” really is….
    You pointed out one version of the love story….where, you loved the guy…but the guy loved someone else…when ever that happens Kay-Marie remember my various scenarios but with one thing in mind, the power of Love….

    In your case, you loved the guy – you felt the warmth in your heart, you felt the motivation to get up excitedly each day and go to school, seldom missing a day….just to see him, he filled you with energy when you were tired and weak, he unknowingly lifted you up when you were down, he made you blush on the days your eyes met each other, his words were like honey, his presence valued like gold….and so on and so on…but he did not reciprocate those sentiments…..instead they were re routed to another girl….(OMG – was chicken licken correct? – the sky is really falling on my head?)…..- you know me with the drama – ….. if you think of it, its actually a choice…..which do you prefer – to love someone or to be loved by someone….in other words, would you trade places with that guy? will you give up ever feeling the way you felt for him, for him to feel that way for you?….if you will, then who is to say that you wont do the exact same thing that he did? that is how powerful love is….a person unconsciously will give up being the one worshiped and adored, to be the one doing the worshiping and adoring….

    I am a very experienced guy….and I have been with girls whose guy treats them like Goddesses and worship the ground they walk on etc……yet they give all that up in a heartbeat….why? because they don’t love the guy…they liked the attention, the affection and all the things that the guy gave them and so what the heck, with the peer pressure etc, they end up with the guy….but they never ever truly loved…they never had that feeling where your eyes can only see that person….and so they keep searching until they come searching my way…and well, you know how that will end….

    So, when ever you love someone, and they love someone else, feel happy for that person that they will be able to enjoy the God given gifts hidden within the power of Love….just as you have enjoyed them as well….don’t be selfish like some people and force the issue….that will never end well….

    Now lets see how Powerful love really is….


  6. Chad says:

    How powerful is Love?

    In my Challenge, we misappropriated Love and that did not go unchecked…God remembered our sins and we paid dearly…what happened is that eventually each of us got cold…we could not recognize true love because we were practicing fictitious love all the time…eventually when the fame gets old…and the girls get boring…we lost all feelings…all hope….until a savior came and we fell in love with someone…for real this time…when that happened we held on to that feeling with dear life…

    But love is so powerful that you don’t play around with it at all at all at all…of course you will reap early rewards, but as the saying goes…”plenty days for thief…one day for police”…which means that you will get away many many times unshaved, but when you get caught once, the impact is soooo tremendous that it washes away all the good times in a second…lets see if that was true…

    Ian Cambridge – got away with many girls…but got trapped with one he did not love…he lost his life. He condemned himself to burn in the fires of hell rather than continue living this meaningless way.

    Dwane Ramsiran – got away with many girls…went too far…was murdered possibly by his own flesh and blood.

    Timothy Seulal – got away with many girls…went too far…will never experience a normal family life in his country of birth.

    Chad – got away with many girls…lost his love to another, lost his mom, lost everything he owned and is starting over in hopes that he can experience a life with the woman he truly loves although the woman he truly loves doesn’t love him back….

    So there you have it…two things…

    Respect the power of love. &
    Have faith in Love.

    I endorse your letters to the heart…. (My heart is still smiling)

    Chad – Hawaii


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