30 Reasons to Watch Fifty Shades of Grey

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The much anticipated day had finally arrived – Saturday 14th February, 2015 was here! I woke up early enough to take my morning jog, had my cup of Twinings English Breakfast Tea, and though that was enough to satisfy me because my stomach was already full with excitement, I still had an egg white omelet (pg. 71) pancakes AND bacon (pg.127) because “he” always insist that I eat.  I did what I had to do during the day, the tickets had already been bought earlier in the week, so all I had to do was get dressed and show up on time. But you know a trini will always be running late so naturally I was running late. Damn why did I refuse Taylor’s offer to pick me up? Or better yet why didn’t I just take Charlie Tango to beat the trini traffic and get there before the long lines? However the route, nothing was going to come in my way or prevent me for going on my date with none other than Christian Trevelyan Grey.

Now before y’all starting thinking that I am a groupie, low key erotic or only recently jumped on this “Fifty Shades” bandwagon, let’s rewind to May 26, 2012. Yes 2012! Oh how life was a lot different back in 2012 – but anyway, I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I was laying in bed (not much has changed about that), I messaged my cousin (same applies now) and asked her what she was doing. She replied and just started going in about a new novel she started reading. For anyone who knows me – or us – you know that we’re book junkies, so of course I wanted in on this book too. “Fifty shades of Grey” she told me was the name of it. She said she was already a couple chapters in but she would email it to me now. Said it had a slow start up but disclaimer it gets a bit “graphic” after. I guess as an older cousin she was being protective of her youngin – but the warning really didn’t do much justice because I had never in my life read a book as “graphic” as this before! Bored and naive I started on page 1 and the rest was history.

Fast forward to my Valentine’s day date – I finally got to see it on the big screen. Now of course there are going to be bad reviews. Every movie has bad reviews, some a lot more than others. You can’t expect everyone to love a show just because you love it. After watching it myself, I expected two groups of people to dislike the movie: Extreme critical book lovers and real life BDSM playmates or whatever they call themselves. Book lovers – they did it to us with Twilight, Harry Potter, and The Hunger Games, so of course you shouldn’t be surprised or expect anything different now. But I would still say don’t let what you heard stop you from watching the movie because quite frankly there’s no way that 530 pages can be depicted in a two hour movie, lets be real. As for the BDSM society, I think you should be thankful that E.L James’ books helped y’all go mainstream. Of course the movie isn’t going to show exactly what y’all do behind closed doors but SPOILER ALERT: I think “The Red Room of Pain” did a pretty good job.

As for everyone else who hasn’t seen the movie yet and who is keeping an open mind then here are just a “few” reasons why you should go see it :

1. YEARS OF PLANNING

You’ve been planning this day for years (almost 3yrs like some of us) Since you read the final chapter of book one, you told yourself that if they ever made a movie you gotta go see it. Now’s your chance.

2. ACTORS

You’re curious to see if the actors they chose live up to the images you made up in your head while reading the book.

3. JAMIE DORNAN

Honestly, the only actor that the ladies are focused on is the one playing the oh-so-sexy Christian Grey. As quoted by Ana “he is not merely good looking – he is the epitome of male beauty, breathtaking.” (pg.21)

You’ve been debating with your girlfriends for quite some time who you think would best depict Christian and now that the movie is finally out you heard its Jamie Dornan. Jamie who? Don’t feel bad ladies, because I’ve never heard about Jamie Dornan until now either. We’re all anxious to see if he can truly live up to the role. Trust me that’s definitely a big shoe to fill. (fun fact: He models for Calvin Klein, Christian Dior and Armani – so ladies his body will be on point.)

4. CURIOUSITY

You’ve never read any of the books and don’t even know what its all about. All you know is that you’re fed up of all the buzzing about “fifty shades” and this damn “Christian Grey.” Don’t take anyone’s word for it, go curb your curiosity and see what its all about and why there are so many critics for a movie that did so well on its first day out.

5. BOX OFFICE

“Fifty Shades of Grey” explodes with a Record-Breaking $81.7 Million at the Box Office. This sets a “new record for the higest-grossing Presidents Day/Valentine’s day holiday opener of all time and ranking among the biggest R- rated debuts in history” according to Variety Magazine. — well duh, sex sells.

6. SEX SCENES

Lets be real, if you read the book, you’ll know there’s no way that they could depict exactly what’s written. You really expect Universal Pictures to portray full length sex scenes? Umm hello I think that’s called PORNOGRAPHY. However, I was quite surprised to see a lot more nudity than usual/expected. There’s stuff you didn’t even think they would show yet they did, trust me. So for you lil slackers its soft porn.

7. YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

You want your significant other to take some pointers and learn a move or two, because to be honest, you got more excited reading chapter twelve than when y’all made love the other night.

8. SUBMISSIVE

You’re thinking about becoming a sub so you wanna take some pointers for yourself.

9. MUSIC JUNKIES

The soundtrack is amazeballs! Yes I said the soundtrack. Now some of you may be thinking how can I find time to listen and focus on background music when Christian’s V lines or Ana’s bare boobs are staring at you on the big screen. But there are some people who go to the movies and don’t only focus on the actors body. If you’re a music junkie you wont be disappointed by the selection in this movie. My favourite song happens to be Skylar Grey – “I know you” There are a lot of other slow, depressing, romantic and sexy songs to choose from [Spoiler alert: Beyonce- Crazy in love (remix), The Wkend – “Earned it”, Ellie Goulding -” Love me like you do” and so much more. ]

10. CAR JUNKIES

If you’re a car lover then set your sights one some sexy ass cars in this film. Lets just say Christian isn’t a hearts and flowers kind of guy but he’s definitely into nice cars. [SPOILER ALERT: Don’t be surprised when you see an Audi A3 or R8 on your screen] Guys it seems like this movie is made more for you than your lady now huh?

11. VISUAL TRANSLATION

Yes visuals are important! I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Escala’s interior was or how The Red Room looked. I think the layout in every room, including Christian’s office was done justice. In case you have plans on re-decorating then you should go watch it.

12. ENGLISH MAJORS

You recently graduated with a degree in English so when you discovered that Ana was an English Major you felt like y’all were soul sisters and think you’re going to get a Christian Grey as well.

13. YOU’RE A VIRGIN

Again, you can relate to Ana in this movie because like her, you too are inexperienced and well after watching it maybe you wont cringe at the thought of sex anymore. Everyone says you won’t enjoy your first time, well I guess Ana is the exception. This movie is a virgin’s fantasy of losing her virginity.

14. PARENTS

You wish you had such good looking parents as Ana. Her mother Carla is played by Actress Jennifer Ehle and her Stepfather Bob (mom’s current husband) is played by the famous Dylan Neal.

15. RITA ORA

Rita Ora fans are about to get a treat because guess what? She’s playing Christian’s sister Mia in the film.

16. BEYONCE

You’re part of the BeyHive so naturally anything involving Beyonce or her music you’ll be involved too. After watching the movie you too will be wishing that Beyonce can sing in the background every time you have sex.

17. THE GREY EFFECT – DEVOTION

The reason why most of us fell in love with Christian in the first place was not only because of his expertise in the bedroom but because of the way he was devoted to Ana. Guys please don’t think its a chic flick so you’re not going to watch it. You can learn a thing or two about how to treat your woman. “If you do this I’ll be devoted to you and ONLY YOU” This is what we want guys!

18. THE GREY EFFECT – YOU’RE WORTH IT It’s more than just about having a man take you on his chopper, buy you a car as a graduation present, send you books, new clothes, a new laptop etc because lets be real, that doesn’t happen every day and to everyone. Its more about the thought behind it. The idea that a man thinks you’re worth more than just the ordinary, because he sees you as anything but ordinary. He thinks you’re worth all the riches in the world and he wants to do anything in his power to show that to you (even though he isn’t a young billionaire.) It could simply be with flowers, listening to you vent all day long or doing something you like to do, once he’s giving all he can to show you that you’re worth it now that’s the Grey Effect.

19. SEATTLE

If you’re from Seattle then you’ll definitely feel proud to rep your city. I’m sure Seattle’s tourism bureau is celebrating its overnight rep that this movie brought to their rainy city. (Seriously though who gets excited to move to Seattle?) If you’ve never been there, then you can get an air view of the city via Charlie Tango on the big screen.

20. ICE

If you’re curious to know what else you can do with ice beside put it in a glass of water then you should watch this film.

21. RIDING CROP

If you’re like me then you had no idea what a riding crop was when you first read about it. To this day you still have no idea what butt plugs or floggers look like then you need to see the movie.

22.  HUMOUR

Its not just about the sex scenes people. To my surprise, the movie was more of a romantic comedy (I laughed more than I expected) with a lot of funny ad lib and playful banter between Christian and Ana. Anyone can enjoy some humour not so?

23. TIES

If your vice is ties then you should definitely check out Christian’s tie drawer. Guys a well tailored suit (INCLUSIVE OF A GRAY TIE – as of now) is to women what lingerie is to men.

24.  WOMAN POWER

If Hollywood still has doubts about whether women can dominate at the box office then this film should put their doubts to rest. Fifty Shades of Grey was directed by Samantha Taylor-Johnson (YES a WOMAN) and at present she is the first woman to have the highest international opening for an R-rated film EVER.Talk about breaking that glass ceiling by swinging on rope attached with cable ties!

25. HARDWARE STORE

So you think you have a worthless life because you work in a hardware store while all your friends have reputable jobs. Well have no fear, fifty shades is here to turn your life around and make you benefit from that same hardware store. Watch the movie and see what you can do with some rope, tape and cable ties. 😉  [Random fact: Sales of duct tape, Cable ties and Rope at a hardware store skyrocketed after the books release in Pennsylvania thanks to the bondage scenes in the book]

26.  YOU’RE SINGLE

You’re single as hell but still enjoy a good love story.

27. YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Fifty Shades of Grey, despite what a lot of you may think, is about much more than BDSM or the fairytale love story that can’t happen in real life. Its about TRUST. Yes trust and there’s nothing fairytale or fake about trust. Like Ana, if you are blindfolded or chained to a bed, there’s nothing you can do beside TRUST your partner. Only then will you be able to enjoy the experience with them. Likewise, in order for your relationship to go to the next level with that new guy or girl that you’re courting you have to trust them too. Trust is a key foundation to building a strong relationship.I hope you can trust this post, go watch the movie and have all the happiness and love in the world afterwards.

28. GIRLS DAY OUT

You need to catch up with your girls. Between work, school, gym or a significant other, you haven’t had much girl time recently. This is a perfect reason to have a girls day and catch up your besties over some eye candy on the big screen.

29. HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE

Just because you’re not into it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go see it. Do it for her! We all gotta do things for our signigicant other that we don’t necessarily want or like to do. But if it makes them happy then you should do it. So here’s your chance, especially if you’ve done something wrong recently, you can make it up with a date to see Fifty Shades on the big screen. She’ll love you for it! And maybe even treat you after the show with some stuff she picked up from the movie.

30. So I’ve finally reached my last point. The original title was going to be “50 reasons to Watch 50 Shades of Grey” but lets face it, no one really wants to read 50 long points, so its been cut down to thirty! So last but not least the 30th, most important, all time exciting reason to watch Fifty Shades of Grey is… dun dun dun…..

CLICK BELOW:

I know that wasn’t fair but I guess you just gotta go see it for yourself to know why…

Laters Baby!

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Reblogged this on Mind of Shamillia and commented:
    Totally loved this review. Each point was more and more interesting. As always Kay-Marie is an awesome writer and makes you feel like you’re on the journey with her. #TheGreyEffect #Ice have to be my faevs!

    Like

  2. Girlfriend!!! I had a blast reading this. Hehe. One word – ICE!

    Like

  3. Dillon says:

    So let me get this straight Kay… I need to get me, some ice, duck tape, rope, butplugs, floggers, grey ties, cute parents, my virginity back, understand what a riding crop is, fancy clothes, sound qualities – primarily devotion, Beyoncé’s sound track, an expensive car and work in a hardware store?

    Help me out here…..how on earth am I doing all that on the salary of a hardware store what ever??

    Like

  4. Dillon says:

    Very interesting review though.

    Like

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