Another Sunday is here and until a few moments ago I didn’t realize that Sundays have unofficially become my 🎉BLOG POST DAY🎉 I started this journey at the end of November 2014 (just the other day) and today March 15th, 2015 marks my 15th post thus far. Golden birthday much? 🎁
Unfortunately I didn’t quite get chance to plan this huge great mind-blowing piece and invite content about anything that is anything (my metaphoric way to compare celebrating your golden birthday with my writing). Instead, I was laying in bed listening to Etta James – “All I can do was cry” and decided to write some thoughts down. I figured it would make better use of my time than eating all those unhappy meals I ordered for my pity party -a party for one that I’ve been having in my head all week. (Lets just say I had a really hard past week. I won’t get into all those details now, maybe I’ll share in a later post, maybe.) 😔
On to the main event.
So last night, rather this morning, I woke up at 2 am and couldn’t fall back asleep. For three hours straight I cried, I prayed, I massaged my temples in hopes of soothing my headache and role-played a lot that happened during my work week but nothing seemed to help. My thoughts just continued running wild and I didn’t know what to do beside write it all down.
Most of them were quite pessimistic thoughts so I deleted those. Some, however, I needed to write down to remind myself of my purpose in life – where I want to go and what I want to achieve. Some were even about ways to improve my blog.
At the end of each blog post I am going to recommend a book. We’ll call it KayReads. I’m an avid reader and I encourage everyone, no matter your sex or age to make reading a part of your lifestyle. I’m currently reading “Lots of Candles and Plenty of Cake” by Anna Quindlen
- No its not about a birthday party.
- Please google her – she’s amazeballs
I’ll suggest a new book each post and in turn I encourage you share your thoughts/opinions of the book in the comments section. Sounds easy enough right?
When I got tired of writing and still couldn’t fall asleep I decide to watch YouTube vids. No not music videos but vlogs. I recently re-discovered Maya Washington aka Shameless Maya – youtuber/artiste/voice talent etc. If you’ve never heard of her I suggest you check her out.
She’s all about self promotion and her brand is #shameless. To her, being shameless means being fearless, being confident, being free, not ashamed to be who you are and to celebrate your talent, celebrate you with the world by working hard and taking risks. I felt like she was speaking to me about being creative and putting myself out there. I felt like she understood my fears and I could identify with being a dreamer too. After watching tons of her YouTube vids – she’s now my new obsession until further notice.
Like I said I was up for hours… so in addition to writing and watching YouTube videos, I still didn’t fall asleep. I needed more. I needed the word of God. More than reading it myself, I needed explanation and encouragement so I visited my brother in the Lord Pastor John Gray – no we’ve never met in real life but this man inspires me as a young person to trust in the Lord and focus on having a relationship with him rather than just seeking results from him in time of need.
Pastor John Gray is an Associate Pastor at Lakewood Church, Houston, Texas (Joel Osteen’s church) He is a comedian,singer and mighty man of God. Every Wednesday night he preaches on this series called Destiny [something]
- Destiny Doors
- Destiny Clues
- Destiny Treasures
- Last night I watched the last of it – Destiny shifts.
I mentioned all of these things to you because I’m sure I’m not the only one who can’t sleep at 2 am sometimes because your mind or heart is heavy. Depending on the situation, some of us opt for calling a loved one at 2am. I’ve been there. I’ve called a loved one once or twice. I’ve even called the one I thought I loved once or twice or tooo many times lol but I’ve realized that no one can change my circumstance but me.
We all go through things and despite how our Instagram may look, when you remove those filters, our lives aren’t perfect. So I felt sad at 2 am, nothing is wrong with that. Guess what, I got up this morning and felt better. I wrote this post and included links (intentionally) to encourage someone else today.
If you remember nothing else from my rambling remember this: Never let depression/defeat/fear win.
I’ve learnt, actually, I’m learning rather, that disappointment is all part of the journey. It isn’t over yet and until I achieve ALL that I set out to do, I’m going to confidently, fearlessly and continuously promote myself in pursuit of accomplishing my goals because my destiny has already been written.
So what if my readership is probably five people (maybe that’s pushing it.. I’m sure I can count on two people to read my blog – they know themselves) but that’s okay. I’ll continue writing like if I’m addressing an audience of thousands until I get there.
So what if I didn’t get a YES the first time to something I asked for.. that’s okay too. Sometimes God doesn’t give us the answer we want. Sometimes he says NOT YET! I’m learning to be patient and trust his timing.
So what if my job is crappy (actually my job is easy and my pay is better than many) but there are people with the bitchiest attitudes that makes my job crappy. I’ve learnt that there are so many people out there who’s praying for the life that I’m complaining about. When I think about all the people without jobs (which means without money to support themselves and their kids) I know I need to be thankful for what I have.
This is my first job and every day is a learning experience. I’ve leant and I’m slowly beginning to accept that life never goes the way we plan it and for someone who plans and imagines and dreams and create my own realities in my head as much as I do that’s a hard truth to swallow.
I discover something new about myself each day. I’ve learnt to be patient, interact/deal with different personalities – more bad than good, be organized, not procrastinate, dress professionally, communicate at a corporate level, see tasks to its completion, become more computer savvy and smile through the hard days. As for becoming a morning person (by force), being able to separate my personal life from business (never fall for someone you work with) and budget my money – I’m still learning.
I’m still uncertain of what my future hold but I’m living in the moment, bursting with hope and blind faith, believing that what is meant for me will be and I will be as happy as I am successful.
For you it may not be writing but it may be something else. Whatever the goal(s) are just keep at it. Whatever you’re going through, its ok to go through it, you aren’t alone but don’t let that thing win.
Affirmations are also important! Speak positive things into your life. We’ll do it together.
Today we’ll start with: I am going to achieve my goals! I’m going to get a YES!
And whenever you can’t sleep at 2 am… remember there’s always someone or something to help you through.
BOOK 1: THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz