“That’s my new motto” I told my cousin via iMessage today as I gladly cut into my Kiss Chocolate truffle cake. Though literal, “getting my own damn cake” is now a microcosm of how I live my life and my own sweet little motivation.
Let me explain:
About a week ago (now let’s try to NOT say that in our Bobby Shmurda’s voice lol). Better yet, let me rephrase, about seven days ago, while having one of my emotional moments, I vented to said cousin that life was getting the better of me. I guess with everything else going on, having a tough day at work was just putting the cherry on top. I felt anxious and started thinking about all my issues and disappointments that seemed to have made itself into a great big pile right about then. After listening to ALL I had to say (and usually I have a lot to say) her response, to put it nicely, was “if you want it Kay you have to go get it yourself.” Ofcourse she didn’t stop there but sometimes we need that one friend that isn’t your “yes man”. That person who won’t put it past them to tell you all the things that you need to hear and I needed to hear this.
She continued “have you no self loyalty? All you think about are your issues? Think about some damn solutions and try one. Start doing YOUR do and stop piling on excuses with no solutions. Be solution-oriented and quit the pity parties. Instead of waiting, sitting, and hoping for a handout or a miracle, go earn it. Go create it. Do something more. Do something great. Even if it’s a little thing as cake. You feel for cake, go find your cake. Challenge yourself even for a week.”
For some of you those statements may not mean a thing, but it surely did hit me. There I was complaining about everything there was to complain about, without pausing to realize that neither crying nor venting about it was going to change my reality or make things better. I had to do something about it. I HAVE to get up and go after all the things I want in life. The same goes for you my friend.
I was once afraid to open up and tell anyone that something was bugging me out of fear that someone would think I have “issues” and I’m not perfect. I’m glad to say I eventually learned for myself that NO ONE is perfect. Everyone has issues, especially the ones who don’t seem like they do. So don’t think you’re alone. And if you ever feel overwhelmed or faced with disappointment then I would like to offer you those same words of encouragement. “Get up and go get your cake!”
Fact is, if you don’t do everything in your power to obtain something you really want, then you don’t really want it. Now take a minute to just think about all the things you really want in this lifetime.
Now, let’s start thinking of all the ways or steps we’re going to take to accomplish these things. We can do it together and we can start NOW.
Just make your list.
I’m a list junkie. I have tons of lists for every and anything…from my 2015 goals, what-kind-of-guy-I-want list, places-I-want-to-visit list, career goals, bucket lists, wedding list, where I see myself in 10 years list, trust me it never ends.
Now here are some things I have written on of my many lists. It may seem farfetched to the simple minded but for me its not… Here’s it goes..
I want to be a vegetarian, do yoga, have four babies (3 boys 1 girl), give to charities, travel the world and be a fitness junkie. I want to buy myself fresh flowers and scented candles regularly, have a brand, own my own publishing company, be a member of a bookclub and a spokesperson for literacy and other great causes. I want to have a vlog and blog with millions of subscribers.
I want to visit a restaurant so regularly that the chef knows my name and favourite wine by heart. I want my home to have a foyer, a library and a jacuzzi. I want to be an avid green tea drinker, and give motivational speeches to my alma maters (from elementary to where I did my phD).
I want to fall in love with the same man every single day, I want to invest in a lot of new projects. I want to be a great baker, to the point where I’m known by my kids’ friends as the mom whose kitchen always smell like heaven. I want my kids to be actively involved in as many extra circular activities as they like and could manage. My favorite pastime would be going to museums and plays. I want to go on annual family vacations never repeating destinations, though our lake house in Vermont would be our second home. I want to have family doctors that we visit yearly (including dentist, pediatrician and vet). I want to own a garden and a Maltese dog. I want my parents to proudly say they have a New York Times best selling author for a daughter and most importantly I want to be known as the girl who always went after what she wanted in life.
So how am I going to accomplish all of these random and crazy things? One slice at a time my dear. Don’t worry about me, I can bet you it’s all going to happen. My challenge today is for you. My prayer is for you to tap into all your potential. Not to have tunnel vision but to dream the impossible dream and don’t wallow in self doubt any longer.
Wake up.Shake up.Go after it. Go after it all.
You can do it. It’s not going to be simple or easy or actually it might, but only one way to find out. You have to start.
I know you can do it.
And when you do, come back and let me know. We’ll share a slice of cake to celebrate.
Book 3: JUST KIDS by Patti Smith
Have a good read and let me know what you think?