I haven’t written here in a while (last blog post was five Sundays ago to be exact… my apologies for that.) Sometimes, life tends to get in the way and you have to find/make time to get things done again. So here I am…technically Monday morning making time for what matters most to me: my writing.
I planned to start much earlier. It was a cool Sunday evening and I had it all figured out or so I thought. My laptop was plugged in and I was ready to blog. My iPad was playing my favourite Youtube playlists, and I had my iPhone at hand searching for new inspirational books online when I started having technically difficulties. As with everything else in life, I was faced with a bump in the road, today it was in the form of internet troubles. After hours of feeling like a fish out of water (with no internet access) my net finally decided to start working again at approximately 10:30pm. I, however, gave up a few hours before that.
Fast forward to present: Everyone’s in bed, lights off, rain is falling, but I can’t sleep because there are too many thoughts racing through my mind at the moment.
There are dreams inside of me that I haven’t even dreamt yet but sometimes when it’s really quiet, I can feel them moving around in my heart and hear them whispering in my head.
I’m a dreamer and an insomniac so being up this hour isn’t unusual. However, disappointment has clouded my thoughts and that’s what I’ve decided to write about. Yes, at 2:45am the only encouraging/positive subject I can think/write about is Disappointment.
You see I recently got hit in the face (feels more like knock the hell down) with some extremely disappointing news. Let me put it this way: I had a dream/goal for some time now and got the opportunity to pursue it last year. I went through a long process to attain it, even had to endure a test. I was now near the finish line just waiting to see the crowd cheering beyond the red tape, trophy awaiting me and confetti to celebrate my victory. Then, in the blink of an eye it was over. And by over I mean I did not win the race, no gold medal, no victory dance. I was left disappointed and defeated to say the least.
After some days of crying, however, I decided that I won’t let it defeat me. My race isn’t over. My dream is still clear. I have to compete again. The Olympic Games are held every four years (thankfully I don’t have to wait that long) I’m going to try this again in a few months. In the meantime, I intend to regroup and improve my craft. I need to get out there. I believe I have what it takes, I just lack the experience. The next race will be mine.
Now it may seem like I have it all figured out but that’s easier said than done. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not one to take disappointment well (who does?) As a matter of fact, I was more than ready to give up a few days ago. Even now, if you ask what my new plan is, I probably wont be able to give you an answer as yet. I’m working on it. What I do know is that throughout life, you’ll be faced with many disappointments. Perhaps, you’re like me and dealing with one right now. It’s not a nice feeling I know, but standing strong in the face of disappointment, picking yourself up after you’ve been knocked down and finishing the race is as important as the reason you started in the first place.
I don’t have all the answers. (I wish I at least had a hint trust me.) I just felt like I would be able to find some healing by writing about what I’m currently facing. This is by no means professional advice that I’m giving here. It isn’t a twelve step program where you’re guaranteed to feel better or magically see results at the end. But, maybe, just maybe when you read this just like I’ve read from others, you can find comfort in knowing that you aren’t alone and we all go through the same thing. We aren’t failures. We’re learning and we’re growing and we’re getting better.
Disappointment is part of the journey. I think that’s my lesson of the day.
Never be afraid of failure or disappointment, because those are just temporary experiences on the path to your dreams coming true.
Pick yourself up and try again. You’re allowed to go through the motions, but don’t let disappointment keep you down. Take some time but don’t take forever. Lets start planning a new Day 1.
See you at the next finish line!