So here’s a little secret (that’s probably not so much of a secret anymore). Kay-Marie Fletcher is the least social, people’s person you’ll ever meet.
I am an introvert working in an extroverted field. I can get along with just about anyone (I thank my sense of humor for that) but I much rather stick to myself and be as low key as possible.
For those in my close circle, I’m definitely the talker in the group. But I stay away from crowds and I most definitely rather stay indoors than engage in most social activities (especially if it involves new people).
In other words, I do not like to people. Humans drain me. Or, should I say, humans ‘used’ to drain me (your girl is changing).
This brings me to the reason for today’s blog post. With just 37 days left to go before we enter 2019…
I’ve finally been able to break down a wall in my life.
A wall of not allowing new people in.
In fact, I’m proud to say (and still can’t believe it actually) that I’ve gained NEW friends this year.
Call me Jon Snow because I’m definitely a protector of walls. I like boundaries. And I keep my guards up at all times.
(10 points if you picked up on my Game of Thrones reference there.)
Some may say that this is a result of trust issues. Others misleading label it as being ‘entitled’.
However, in the past, every single person who rallied for my transparency proved to be people who only wanted access to the depths of me just to say they saw what I possessed inside, not because they truly loved or respected its worth. This is why I build up walls.
Now don’t get me wrong.
I didn’t just build walls to protect my heart in fear of it being broken either. My walls were built in honor of the beauty inside of me and for this reason I believed we should all have walls. Walls and boundaries are so important in order to protect our energies.
A boundary is a psychological fence. It is created to protect you from anything unwanted out there. Whether for you that may look like people who are challenging, draining conversations or participating in unwanted activities. This can be in both your personal and professional life. If you are setting and respecting boundaries, what you are in fact doing is effectively creating a space in which you produce at a higher level – because it’s void of distraction.
However, like everything else in life, the extremity of anything can turn toxic. And so having walls up can indeed block blessings.
Though I love to consider myself an introvert because I thrive in solitude, in reality, I’ve always been a person with many friends. In fact, I’m the friend who introduces my friends to one another then they become best friends – and so the circle grows.
Yet, I’ve battled with being ‘too social’, so at the slightest resemblance of this, I often take a step back.
I’ve built walls to keep people out and I’ve gone for quite a long while thinking that this was a smart way to live.
What 2018 taught me, however, is that instead of protecting, what this wall was doing was in fact blocking all God had in store for me, and whether I wanted to accept it or not, that included new people in my life.
So yesterday, mid-laugh, and somewhere between having lunch and screams of excitement because we just came up with the best ideas ever, I realized that God sent me a new friend (someone who I wasn’t even keen on meeting) in order to help push my purpose.
Now had I not allowed myself to be open to this new friendship, I would not have discovered some new business opportunities God had in store for me, and ultimately lost that blessing.
What are some of the things you’re blocking yourself from receiving?
For you, it may not be a new friend, but there are things out there with your name written on it, but because of the walls you have up, not only can’t you receive it, you also can’t even see the potential of that blessing because you’ve blocked your own view.
My advice today is it’s time to break that wall down.
If you’re still wondering what I’m talking about or you’re still not identifying with today’s message then I urge you to ask God to release you from the things (even unbeknownst to you) that’s become a wall in your life.
It may be the unforgiveness you’ve held onto toward a friend or a loved one.
It could be the wall of prejudice towards those who sin differently from you.
It may be that voice that says you’re not smart enough to pursue that goal.
It may be stage fright.
Or it could be the fact that you keep telling yourself, “true love don’t exist.”
Whatever it may be, I’m here to urge you, before the new year arrives, break that wall down.
There are walls in all of our lives that have emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually stripped us from experiencing real joy, forgiveness, healing and peace.
So how do we break down these walls?
Acknowledging that these walls even exist in your life is the first step in breaking it down. Because you’ve accepted that there is something needing to be broken down or removed in the first place, you’ve made way for change to occur.
Secondly, know that God is stronger than all the walls we have built in our lives and has a better plan for us.
Boundaries are important. Staying away from some people, places and things are absolutely necessary. However, if we begin to do some early Christmas cleaning internally and be honest with ourselves, we can discover that some walls have become a prison and nothing grows there.
I’ve had to accept that no matter how much I wanted to hold on to being an introvert, I may have very well been born to be an extrovert. My purpose in life definitely involves interacting with a lot more humans than I first bargained for, and more than anything else, I needed to break my wall down this year.
What walls are you going to start breaking down today?
Do not let the new year meet you still imprisoned.
You’ve got 37 days left.
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